The love of many

Jesus spoke of the end times: "And the love of the great body of people will grow cold because of the multiplied lawlessness and iniquity" (Matthew 24:12). I don't know if that prophecy included people from the church, but I do think it applies to me. My love has grown cold toward God. And when one's love for God grows cold, it negatively affects one's love for one's family and church. I don't even mind skipping church these past few weeks (although we didn't really. We did attend church, but my heart wasn't in it).

I used to think Jesus was thinking of me when he told the Prodigal Son story. I used to think that a lot when I was a new Christian, a new convert to the faith. Jesus looked into the future and imagined me, and told the ancient Jews that story.

Now, older but not necessarily wiser, I feel that my love for Jesus has, after years in the relationship, not grown more fervent, but actually waned. I admit this now here because it's the truth. I'm not in love with Him any more.

So, to arrest the situation, I thought of several programs. I bought The Lion Handbook to the Bible and thought I shall read one section of it each day, along with a short passage from the Bible. Surely reading the Bible would rekindle the fire of my heart.

After a few days I dropped out of that program. It felt dutiful, and dutiful makes me feel sleepy and bored. I haven't gotten past the story of Noah. Well, not even the middle of it. Where I'm at he and his family are still floating somewhere in the ark. The dove has yet to fly; the rainbow to yet to mark the sky.

Neither The Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith nor Sex God by Rob Bell helped ignite my passion for the Christ. I couldn't even go past the first chapter of to-dos and to-thinks.

At a whim I purchased Oswald Chambers's My Utmost for His Highest, that great devotional classic. Surely, I thought, this will all be legalistic stuff and will make me feel really bad about my current state of heart and shrink farther from Christ. This edition was updated in today's language by James Reinmann.

Apparently, Chambers did not write this book. It was transcribed by his wife who was a court stenographer during his sermons.

Already I can see why the book is such a classic. It doesn't give you a list of to-dos or to-bes to become a better Christian. Instead it constantly points you to the Person of Christ. Jesus, the Person. Jesus, the Lover. Jesus, the King. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Chambers was obsessively in love with Jesus, and I was getting a bit jealous. Wasn't I like this before?

It is March. I didn't even start on first page, for the 1st January entry. I went right to the March entries, whatever date it was I first began to read it. At first it didn't resonate much, but like gentle osmosis, I found myself thinking about the insights in the book. And I find myself entertaining the thought that this Jesus is worth my attention again.

Let's see where all of this leads. I'll keep you all posted.