As for me

The Westboro Baptist Church may be a hateful congregation of bigots; secular humanist "intellectuals" may treat Christianity with dismissive derision and ridicule; organized religion can be a pain in the ass, but as for the del Rosarios, we will serve Jesus.

That's my paraphrase for Joshua 24:15, which the Amplified Bible translates: "And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

It seems more and more it becomes harder to obey the Lord. The ISIS brings terror, and other denominations shame us, and our own actions sometimes shame us. Our family attends one of the biggest megachurches in the world, where I know less than one percent of the population. Our megachurch wants to be known for our love for one another, but when the place feels colder and increasingly institutionalized than anything. Sure, the teaching is good, once in a while. The songs are rock concert quality (though that's not my personal preference and I have to screen out much of the spectacle and the belting to focus on getting my heart in the right attitude to receive the Word and the Lord). But with such a brand name megachurch, I find it more difficult to know Jesus personally.

It becomes more of God-as-told-to-me by the megachurch with an agenda, a propaganda. This is our brand: a group of loving people with lives victorious and full of joy. Church ceased to be where broken hearts go to and humbly ask for healing.

So, this blog is my attempt not to give up. Not to give up on God because the church I belong to has gone cold. Not to let my heart get any colder than it is. "In nothing shall I be ashamed," asserted Paul, "but with all boldness, as always, so now, to magnify Christ in this body whether through life or death" (Philippians 1:20).

Yay for your Paul. Hashtag ediwow. Let me take the first steps to recovering from hurting and being hurt by fellow Christians, and to begin to glorify Jesus. But first, to get to know this Jesus. Really know him.

So, no. I won't compete with finishing the Bible again this year. But rather a more in depth reading of the passages I breezed through before in an effort to read through the Bible in 365. Less of religion, less of Barbie-and-Ken smiles. More authentic searching. That's the mandate I place on myself.

I go to the Source Himself. Jesus, who are You? I want to be my best for You, but who are You?

Paul confessed in Philippians 1:21, "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." That's for you, Paul. Thank you for the honesty. If I make that a recipe for my life, a religious goal to attain on my own batteries, I will fail. That's Paul's experience and spirituality. For me, Rico, what? What is Christ? Let me find that out on my own, organically, without forced input from my megachurch, please.

Jesus, I want to know you. Personally. Come. Maranatha.

Companionship

Here's a recurring theme in most stories: the human need for true companionship. We need someone to be there, at the deepest, darkest moments of our life. We can't be alone. We weren't designed to face life alone. We need companions we can trust not to buckle or run away.

Jesus said, "But take notice, the hour is coming, and it has arrived, when you will all be dispersed and scattered, every man to his own home, leaving Me alone." This is in John 16:32. But Jesus does not seem to be scolding the disciples. It sounds more like a somber warning. This is about to happen. When it does, take comfort. It was bound to happen. It's part of the plan.

Jesus goes on to say, "Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me." It seems companionship is just as important to the Son of Man as it is to us.

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have perfect peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation, trials, distress and frustration; but be of good cheer. Take courage. Be confident, certain and undaunted. For I have overcome the world. I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you." (Amplified Bible)

The Artist's Way for Parents

I finally found a copy of Julia Cameron and Emma Lively's The Artist's Way for Parents: Raising Creative Children. In the Introduction, Julia admits she was reluctant to write this book. Just follow the tools in TAW and you will intuitively, organically, become a good parent--was her belief. I'm glad she acquiesced to the many urgings of people to write this book, and also since her daughter Domenica has become a mom, she felt prompted to finally write the book.

I want to go through this book soon and see how it helps me become a better parent. I find myself to be quite a spoiler. Though I love being a parent. God speaks to me through my daughter. When we play tickle and kiss each other's cheeks, God says He kisses my cheeks, too, even in the morning before I even brushed my teeth. God says He is my Parent.

Recently I find myself losing my patience at Dana because she always wanted to be accompanied. She can't be left alone. She fears all sorts of fictional creatures: werewolves, ghosts, etc.

DANA (looking up at the moon): Daddy, are werewolves real?

ME: Sure they are.

DANA: How come we're not turning into one?

ME: You have to survive a bite to become one.

DANA: How come they're not biting us?

ME: God is keeping them away from us.

VECK: Kaya di yan maiwan, kung anu-ano sinasabi mo.

ME: Well, if faeries are real, why not werewolves? They all belong to the same mythology.

Dana's love language turns out to be gifts. So if there's a toy she wants but we don't give her, she says, "You don't love me." I developed a Star System where, if she wants a toy (right now it's a mermaid Pinypon), she must earn enough Blue Stars (blue is her favorite color) to purchase them. Pinypon is worth thirty-five stars. She has now earned two blue stars by being obedient.

One time God told me, "How come Dana always wants you to be with her everywhere, while you want to be independent, never asking Me to tag along?"

Dana daily tells me, "I love you, Daddy. You're my best friend." And God whispers, "When will I ever hear you tell Me that, anak?" And I give God a bemused smile.

A shady purchase

Hi, everyone. I am in the midst of reading Money Drunk Money Sober. For this week, the primary task is to find a support group composed of people who are likewise wanting to get sober with their financial affairs. Apparently there IS a Debtors Anonymous in the Philippines (I googled) but I have no idea how to get in touch with them. I do not know if there is a similar support group at my local church.

In the meantime, since this group has always been a second home to me where I find supportive and affirmative folk, I guess here is where I should park my milestones.

I have been steadily counting and watching my finances. This week, I dipped into savings. I feel bad about that. I also noticed that the bank charged me P300 (about $7.00) as a service charge, and I didn't know they did that until I watched closely. I'll call the bank this week and find out what that's about.

Last Friday I spent about P800 ($18) on books. I almost never think twice when it's books I buy. Why is that? Last week I spent almost three days just to decide whether to purchase a pair of good shades. It's summer here and the sun is strong. I finally settled on a pair (after days of picking it up and then putting it down--good thing the store clerk was patient and friendly) that on a 20% discount. I bought my shades for about $16.00 and I agonized over them, but for the books I just buy without thinking. I think that's a little funny.

It's Easter but my office wanted me to go to work. Veck is ill, so I called and said I couldn't go. And my mind is on... oh, the income I would've earned if I went to work. Hm... this is strange. A few years ago I would not have thought of the money at all. Thanks for listening. Happy Easter to everyone who celebrate!