As for me

The Westboro Baptist Church may be a hateful congregation of bigots; secular humanist "intellectuals" may treat Christianity with dismissive derision and ridicule; organized religion can be a pain in the ass, but as for the del Rosarios, we will serve Jesus.

That's my paraphrase for Joshua 24:15, which the Amplified Bible translates: "And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

It seems more and more it becomes harder to obey the Lord. The ISIS brings terror, and other denominations shame us, and our own actions sometimes shame us. Our family attends one of the biggest megachurches in the world, where I know less than one percent of the population. Our megachurch wants to be known for our love for one another, but when the place feels colder and increasingly institutionalized than anything. Sure, the teaching is good, once in a while. The songs are rock concert quality (though that's not my personal preference and I have to screen out much of the spectacle and the belting to focus on getting my heart in the right attitude to receive the Word and the Lord). But with such a brand name megachurch, I find it more difficult to know Jesus personally.

It becomes more of God-as-told-to-me by the megachurch with an agenda, a propaganda. This is our brand: a group of loving people with lives victorious and full of joy. Church ceased to be where broken hearts go to and humbly ask for healing.

So, this blog is my attempt not to give up. Not to give up on God because the church I belong to has gone cold. Not to let my heart get any colder than it is. "In nothing shall I be ashamed," asserted Paul, "but with all boldness, as always, so now, to magnify Christ in this body whether through life or death" (Philippians 1:20).

Yay for your Paul. Hashtag ediwow. Let me take the first steps to recovering from hurting and being hurt by fellow Christians, and to begin to glorify Jesus. But first, to get to know this Jesus. Really know him.

So, no. I won't compete with finishing the Bible again this year. But rather a more in depth reading of the passages I breezed through before in an effort to read through the Bible in 365. Less of religion, less of Barbie-and-Ken smiles. More authentic searching. That's the mandate I place on myself.

I go to the Source Himself. Jesus, who are You? I want to be my best for You, but who are You?

Paul confessed in Philippians 1:21, "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." That's for you, Paul. Thank you for the honesty. If I make that a recipe for my life, a religious goal to attain on my own batteries, I will fail. That's Paul's experience and spirituality. For me, Rico, what? What is Christ? Let me find that out on my own, organically, without forced input from my megachurch, please.

Jesus, I want to know you. Personally. Come. Maranatha.