When faced with a huge task

When faced with a gigantic task it is normal to quake in your boots.  It is normal to be afraid.  Fear is part of being human.  It's been said that the Bible has 365 commands of "Don't be afraid" throughout its sixty-six books, and that's one each day.

When God asks us to do something huge, one good indicator is to feel some fear.  I say this because in The Horse and His Boy, when Shasta was to be crowned the next king, he said he felt inadequate, and Aslan said it is for that reason that he should be the next king.  When God asked Joshua to battle against Jericho and Canaanites, He commanded him to be courageous.  He wouldn't have commanded him so if Joshua didn't need it.  Fear before a huge task helps us to place our faith in God, and not in ourselves.  A big task tells us we need a big God.

But how do we get this courage?  Does it fall down from the sky?  Even for the grace to be brave, God has the answer for us.

"Be strong and of good courage, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land which I swore to their fathers to give them.  Only you be strong and very courageous, that you may do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you.  Turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.  This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it.  For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success.  Have not I commanded you?  Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous.  Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Those were God's promises to Joshua (1.6-10).  Notice the key command: Be strong and courageous.  God is with us wherever we go. 

To gain this courage, it seems we have a two-pronged practice, a being and a doing.  The doing is obeying God's Word.  The being is meditation.  This two-fold practice, meditation and obedience, holds the key to gaining the courage we need to fulfill God's gigantic tasks for us.

May you continue to have peace and be happy.  Let us continue to desire and pray as in Psalm 19:14, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

And may we hold on to Jesus' promise, "I Am with you always, even to the end of the age."

Notice the order

A reading of Genesis 6 gives us a look into God's relationship with Noah.

First, Noah finds favor (grace) in God.  This is God's initiative, nothing Noah strived for or invented.  Because of this, Noah is righteous and blameless. 

Notice, too, that Genesis 6:8 is the first mention of grace in the Bible, and it has to do with God establishing a relationship with man.

Second, Noah walked in habitual fellowship with God.  They had a relationship.

When was the last time you put on your most comfortable shoes and took a stroll with God?

Third, Noah obeyed God.  He built the ark, collected the animals.  Noah fulfilled God's great task for him, what some of us may call life purpose.

Notice the order.  A lot of us try to do it in reverse.  We try to be obedient in order to have a relationship in order to get grace.  It sounds like a lot of religion.  That's not how God worked in the life of Noah.  Let's get the order right.

Swirls and chaos

Genesis 1:2a The earth was without form and an empty waste, and darkness was upon the face of the very great deep.

This is how I feel now. This formlessness and emptiness and darkness describe my inner terrain right now.

I was made from this earth and I feel what it feels.

For thus says the Lord–Who created the heavens, God Himself, Who formed the earth and made it, Who established it and did not create it to be a worthless waste; He formed it to be inhabited–"I am the Lord, and there is no one else" (Isaiah 45:18).

God has a purpose for this earth, though it did not start out so well, looking like a swirling mass of chaos. God made something out of it: this planet on which we live.

Maybe God has a purpose for me, too.

No words but prayer

This is how prayer meetings work in our church. Someone, usually a pastor, sometimes a pastor in training, goes to the front and leads a short devotional. Then, soft music is played, and prayer points are flashed onscreen to guide you along in case you run out of things to say.

At first we did it Wednesday mornings, then Tuesday mornings, then evenings, and then in week-long fasts. Now CCF does it thirty minutes before Sunday service. An incentive to come early.

I've attended a number of these and it felt to me a little silly that I would read what's on screen to God as if He were illiterate.

I did something different today, arriving twenty minutes before the three PM service. This was brought upon by an urgent need. I even gave God a little preamble while I was on the escalator: "I'm here to talk to You, something I don't do often. Prepare Your ear for a pent-up mouthful."

But as I sat down, compelled by great unspoken need, as the first prayer point to Worship God was flashed, I was overwhelmed and couldn't speak. Too great was my confusion and deep my pain that there were no words for it.

And so wordlessly I sent God love and worship, similar I guess to the way I would send healing thoughts for an ailing loved one. And so on for the next slide with prayer for the nation, for the church, for family... No words, but prayer.

The slide showed a prayer to request for conviction for unconfessed sin, and God impressed upon my heart how self-sufficient I am and don't depend on Him at all. The only time I spoke: with my mouth I confessed my sins. The last slide was a prayer for personal concerns, but by then I already knew that God knows my needs before I ask, and I can just continue to sit there and be with Him. At that point I just handed Him my heart, the heart He created, now black and bruised and calcified because of my rebellion, and He began to gently massage and soothe it.

If the Bible were written as a novel

I have tried and failed many times to follow-through with daily Bible reading guides that promised to help me read every word of Scripture in 365 days. The only exemption is Cover to Cover, a chronological plan by Selwyn Hughes and Trevor J Partridge. I have never been able to reread the Bible through after that.

I've tried My Utmost for His Highest, Our Daily Bread, the study plans on YouVersion. Nothing sticks, or, I don't stick to them. I tried reading Bible Promises, all that. I just can't seem to recapture the magic of reading the Grand Story.

Although, when I try to use Cover to Cover again, I feel dutiful, religious. No passion there. No love. No excitement. Dead.

So I stopped reading the Bible for a while.

The thing is, I have reread many several books in my life, favourites of mine, which I feel are treasures. Books I refer to over and over again, and I base workshops on. And I have tons of fiction, novels, that I read so deeply that the characters are alive for me. I am a slow and deep reader. I digest plot slowly. And when I am at the last few chapters of a book, I intentionally read out loud, so I spend longer with the book. The book is a friend and I don't want it to go away so soon.

So, I thought, why can't I read the Bible like a novel? One chapter bit of a story a day before moving to the next. Not dutifully gulping up more than I can chew or swallow because it's the prescribed number of verses to read that day. That leaves me with spiritual indigestion, and then I don't want to read anymore.

Let's read the Bible piecemeal. Let's read it like it were any other book. Let's find out who this main character is, this God. Let's judge this God by his/her actions and words and how he/she related to the Hebrew people.

So, today is Day 1. And if the Bible were written as a novel, this few verses will make the preface.

Preface

 

In the beginning, before all time, was the Word., and the Word was with God, and the Word was God Himself. He was present originally with God.

 

Before the mountains were brought forth or ever You had formed and given birth to the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting You are God.

 

In the beginning God prepared, formed, fashioned, and created the heavens and the earth.

 

(John 1:1-2, Psalm 90:2, Genesis 1:1, AMP)

Peace ingredients

And may the God of peace Himself sanctify you through and through [separate you from profane things, make you pure and wholly consecrated to God]; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved sound and complete [and found] blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah).

1 Thessalonians 5:23 AMP

It seems peace is a by-product of purity, of being so fully set apart by and for God. So if I wanted to experience peace, I need to come to Jesus and ask to be purified by His blood, which cleanses all of me: body, soul, and spirit.

I do know my body had been given over to strange appetites. I say this of my past. I have not been faithful in being a living sacrifice. I am not so sure about the status of my soul and spirit, but who's to say my current feeling of dis-ease and internalized, unspoken dread is not a telling factor?

There's no peace. Maybe because I haven't kept myself pure. Holy crap.

I need help, All-Good God, All-Possible God. I need Your help.

If I were president...

If I were president of the Philippines, I'll remove tax obligations on artists. I'd say they feed the soul of the nation, and so dancers, musicians, theatre practitioners, novelists and poets and painters won't be taxed for doing their work.

I'll put premium on the arts and the sports in educational programs.

I'll focus on agriculture, and restoration of natural resources to our country.

I'd bring back the death penalty for all rapists, child abusers, drug lords, and corrupt politicians.

Go ahead. Give me the next ten minutes. Write ten laws you would decree if you were president or prime minister of your country.

One of my disciplers, Mel Santos, told me once that the laws you create say a lot about you and what you value. Take a look at your list. What do you value?

God gave us the Ten Commandments. Bong Saquing, in the past few weeks from the CCF pulpit, reiterates that the premise of these pronouncements is that we are now wedded to God. Married to God we belong to Him, we carry His name, are now set apart from Him. He has taken us out of our personal Egypts and onto this journey towards the Promised Land.

The first four commandments show that God takes this exclusive relationship seriously. No looking for other gods. No making or inventing our own gods, either. No shaming His name. And once a week we must spend a date with Him.

What does this tell you about your Lover?

The next six commandments show us how to treat the people in our lives. Honour your parents. And honour others: don't lie, kill, cheat on your spouse, steal, etc.

So, this God honours us. He honours humanity, and expects me to reflect His heart towards others. Now I get what Jesus said: "Love God. Love others." Those are the laws.

Our God is a God of love and honour. We love and honour Him; we love and honour others. Not entirely easy. I'll need God's hand to do this.

As for me

The Westboro Baptist Church may be a hateful congregation of bigots; secular humanist "intellectuals" may treat Christianity with dismissive derision and ridicule; organized religion can be a pain in the ass, but as for the del Rosarios, we will serve Jesus.

That's my paraphrase for Joshua 24:15, which the Amplified Bible translates: "And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

It seems more and more it becomes harder to obey the Lord. The ISIS brings terror, and other denominations shame us, and our own actions sometimes shame us. Our family attends one of the biggest megachurches in the world, where I know less than one percent of the population. Our megachurch wants to be known for our love for one another, but when the place feels colder and increasingly institutionalized than anything. Sure, the teaching is good, once in a while. The songs are rock concert quality (though that's not my personal preference and I have to screen out much of the spectacle and the belting to focus on getting my heart in the right attitude to receive the Word and the Lord). But with such a brand name megachurch, I find it more difficult to know Jesus personally.

It becomes more of God-as-told-to-me by the megachurch with an agenda, a propaganda. This is our brand: a group of loving people with lives victorious and full of joy. Church ceased to be where broken hearts go to and humbly ask for healing.

So, this blog is my attempt not to give up. Not to give up on God because the church I belong to has gone cold. Not to let my heart get any colder than it is. "In nothing shall I be ashamed," asserted Paul, "but with all boldness, as always, so now, to magnify Christ in this body whether through life or death" (Philippians 1:20).

Yay for your Paul. Hashtag ediwow. Let me take the first steps to recovering from hurting and being hurt by fellow Christians, and to begin to glorify Jesus. But first, to get to know this Jesus. Really know him.

So, no. I won't compete with finishing the Bible again this year. But rather a more in depth reading of the passages I breezed through before in an effort to read through the Bible in 365. Less of religion, less of Barbie-and-Ken smiles. More authentic searching. That's the mandate I place on myself.

I go to the Source Himself. Jesus, who are You? I want to be my best for You, but who are You?

Paul confessed in Philippians 1:21, "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." That's for you, Paul. Thank you for the honesty. If I make that a recipe for my life, a religious goal to attain on my own batteries, I will fail. That's Paul's experience and spirituality. For me, Rico, what? What is Christ? Let me find that out on my own, organically, without forced input from my megachurch, please.

Jesus, I want to know you. Personally. Come. Maranatha.

Companionship

Here's a recurring theme in most stories: the human need for true companionship. We need someone to be there, at the deepest, darkest moments of our life. We can't be alone. We weren't designed to face life alone. We need companions we can trust not to buckle or run away.

Jesus said, "But take notice, the hour is coming, and it has arrived, when you will all be dispersed and scattered, every man to his own home, leaving Me alone." This is in John 16:32. But Jesus does not seem to be scolding the disciples. It sounds more like a somber warning. This is about to happen. When it does, take comfort. It was bound to happen. It's part of the plan.

Jesus goes on to say, "Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me." It seems companionship is just as important to the Son of Man as it is to us.

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have perfect peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation, trials, distress and frustration; but be of good cheer. Take courage. Be confident, certain and undaunted. For I have overcome the world. I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you." (Amplified Bible)

The Artist's Way for Parents

I finally found a copy of Julia Cameron and Emma Lively's The Artist's Way for Parents: Raising Creative Children. In the Introduction, Julia admits she was reluctant to write this book. Just follow the tools in TAW and you will intuitively, organically, become a good parent--was her belief. I'm glad she acquiesced to the many urgings of people to write this book, and also since her daughter Domenica has become a mom, she felt prompted to finally write the book.

I want to go through this book soon and see how it helps me become a better parent. I find myself to be quite a spoiler. Though I love being a parent. God speaks to me through my daughter. When we play tickle and kiss each other's cheeks, God says He kisses my cheeks, too, even in the morning before I even brushed my teeth. God says He is my Parent.

Recently I find myself losing my patience at Dana because she always wanted to be accompanied. She can't be left alone. She fears all sorts of fictional creatures: werewolves, ghosts, etc.

DANA (looking up at the moon): Daddy, are werewolves real?

ME: Sure they are.

DANA: How come we're not turning into one?

ME: You have to survive a bite to become one.

DANA: How come they're not biting us?

ME: God is keeping them away from us.

VECK: Kaya di yan maiwan, kung anu-ano sinasabi mo.

ME: Well, if faeries are real, why not werewolves? They all belong to the same mythology.

Dana's love language turns out to be gifts. So if there's a toy she wants but we don't give her, she says, "You don't love me." I developed a Star System where, if she wants a toy (right now it's a mermaid Pinypon), she must earn enough Blue Stars (blue is her favorite color) to purchase them. Pinypon is worth thirty-five stars. She has now earned two blue stars by being obedient.

One time God told me, "How come Dana always wants you to be with her everywhere, while you want to be independent, never asking Me to tag along?"

Dana daily tells me, "I love you, Daddy. You're my best friend." And God whispers, "When will I ever hear you tell Me that, anak?" And I give God a bemused smile.

A shady purchase

Hi, everyone. I am in the midst of reading Money Drunk Money Sober. For this week, the primary task is to find a support group composed of people who are likewise wanting to get sober with their financial affairs. Apparently there IS a Debtors Anonymous in the Philippines (I googled) but I have no idea how to get in touch with them. I do not know if there is a similar support group at my local church.

In the meantime, since this group has always been a second home to me where I find supportive and affirmative folk, I guess here is where I should park my milestones.

I have been steadily counting and watching my finances. This week, I dipped into savings. I feel bad about that. I also noticed that the bank charged me P300 (about $7.00) as a service charge, and I didn't know they did that until I watched closely. I'll call the bank this week and find out what that's about.

Last Friday I spent about P800 ($18) on books. I almost never think twice when it's books I buy. Why is that? Last week I spent almost three days just to decide whether to purchase a pair of good shades. It's summer here and the sun is strong. I finally settled on a pair (after days of picking it up and then putting it down--good thing the store clerk was patient and friendly) that on a 20% discount. I bought my shades for about $16.00 and I agonized over them, but for the books I just buy without thinking. I think that's a little funny.

It's Easter but my office wanted me to go to work. Veck is ill, so I called and said I couldn't go. And my mind is on... oh, the income I would've earned if I went to work. Hm... this is strange. A few years ago I would not have thought of the money at all. Thanks for listening. Happy Easter to everyone who celebrate!

The love of many

Jesus spoke of the end times: "And the love of the great body of people will grow cold because of the multiplied lawlessness and iniquity" (Matthew 24:12). I don't know if that prophecy included people from the church, but I do think it applies to me. My love has grown cold toward God. And when one's love for God grows cold, it negatively affects one's love for one's family and church. I don't even mind skipping church these past few weeks (although we didn't really. We did attend church, but my heart wasn't in it).

I used to think Jesus was thinking of me when he told the Prodigal Son story. I used to think that a lot when I was a new Christian, a new convert to the faith. Jesus looked into the future and imagined me, and told the ancient Jews that story.

Now, older but not necessarily wiser, I feel that my love for Jesus has, after years in the relationship, not grown more fervent, but actually waned. I admit this now here because it's the truth. I'm not in love with Him any more.

So, to arrest the situation, I thought of several programs. I bought The Lion Handbook to the Bible and thought I shall read one section of it each day, along with a short passage from the Bible. Surely reading the Bible would rekindle the fire of my heart.

After a few days I dropped out of that program. It felt dutiful, and dutiful makes me feel sleepy and bored. I haven't gotten past the story of Noah. Well, not even the middle of it. Where I'm at he and his family are still floating somewhere in the ark. The dove has yet to fly; the rainbow to yet to mark the sky.

Neither The Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith nor Sex God by Rob Bell helped ignite my passion for the Christ. I couldn't even go past the first chapter of to-dos and to-thinks.

At a whim I purchased Oswald Chambers's My Utmost for His Highest, that great devotional classic. Surely, I thought, this will all be legalistic stuff and will make me feel really bad about my current state of heart and shrink farther from Christ. This edition was updated in today's language by James Reinmann.

Apparently, Chambers did not write this book. It was transcribed by his wife who was a court stenographer during his sermons.

Already I can see why the book is such a classic. It doesn't give you a list of to-dos or to-bes to become a better Christian. Instead it constantly points you to the Person of Christ. Jesus, the Person. Jesus, the Lover. Jesus, the King. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Chambers was obsessively in love with Jesus, and I was getting a bit jealous. Wasn't I like this before?

It is March. I didn't even start on first page, for the 1st January entry. I went right to the March entries, whatever date it was I first began to read it. At first it didn't resonate much, but like gentle osmosis, I found myself thinking about the insights in the book. And I find myself entertaining the thought that this Jesus is worth my attention again.

Let's see where all of this leads. I'll keep you all posted.

Week 5 on Money Drunk / Money Sober

Week Five on Money Drunk / Money Sober is The Money Map: The Recovery of Accuracy

You are supposed to make a tally on an Excel sheet of all your expenditures from week to week for the first four weeks. This is where all your Counting lists become handy. The Money Map is supposed to give you information where you are (mis-)spending your money.

I must tell you, after weeks of accumulating Counting data, this work is tedious. It is recommended from hereon that you tally your expenditures at the end of each week.

Because we get paid at day job every other Friday, I made Friday the start of my Counting Week. I have so far tallied two weeks. And if you make a mistake it's a little frustrating. The goal is accuracy, after all.

I use google docs to keep my counting and money map records. Hopefully this really helps point me to a better way of using money.

The Money Drunk, week five

I have been reading Money Drunk Money Sober by Julia Cameron and Mark Bryan for five weeks now, and meticulously counting my money as one of their exercises.

In week three, they list a series of twenty-nine questions in a fearless inventory of one's money behaviors.

I'm a little behind--as in everything else--with my reading, and I did commit to reading one chapter a week in this book as I go through twelve weeks of recovering sobriety in my finances.

As for the week three Inventory list, I can't answer all the questions in one go, and I intend to simply answer one each day. Let me answer question number 2 here.

List five efforts you have made to control your spending.
I don't think I can list five efforts. Maybe at most, three.

First, the Counting exercise described in the book, where you list down all monies in and out. Spent and earned. Sometimes the very act of listing a would-be outrageous and impulsive purchase arrests the act before the money leaves my hand.

Second, Journaling, also described in this book. Like breathing and walking meditation, writing about a need to buy something helps me look at it squarely and objectively. It's similar to the walk-away principle. If I want something, I walk away from it and let the impulse pass for a few days. If after a while I still think about the item, then maybe I really do want it and must make space in my budget for it.

Third, allotting ten percent of my paycheck for book fund, another ten percent for theatre fund, and another ten for gadgets fund. I can't spend more than that, and if the item is a little more than the ten percent, I need to wait till next income till I get enough money to buy the item.

Okay, the above behaviors do not always work, especially around the purchase of books. I love books. Hardbounds of my favorite authors. Hard-to-find first editions. Yeah. I can walk away from gadgets, clothes, spas... but bookstores. Oh, boy. Boy oh boy.

A good creation

Reading: Genesis 1:1-2:3

I had to ask God to give my eyes fresh lens as I have read this passage far too many times. If you are like me who make a commitment to read the Bible as part of your New Year's Resolutions you most likely begin with this passage, too. And if you trail off your commitment sometime in the later weeks, and choose to begin again, then wham! You're back with the Creation story.

But God did give me fresh eyes. My friends laugh at my choice of Bible translation: The Amplified Bible. It's "the Bible for the talkative folk," and I have to agree. Lots of words in parentheses and brackets show shades of meaning and turns of phrases that highlight the text. When I first read the Bible, I used the very readable and friendly New Living Translation. Now I plan to read the Amplified.

My imagination caught on fire as I saw the big bang of God creating light, and the firmament, and the land and sea, and all the creatures. I realize that ancient civilizations saw God as powerful, the Source of all, and lavish. God spoke everything into being. And there isn't just one kind of flowers, there are thousands! There isn't one kind of birds or fish, there are countless! And of many colors, too! And the snowflake, think about it. No two alike! Just like our fingerprints! A God of Infinite Creativity and Variety!

And He kept blessing each work. "God saw that it was good." Good... good... good... echoing through the birthing Universe.

This account was written in Poetry. I remember an epiphany I once had that I forwarded to many friends via sms: "Universe. Uni-verse. Poetry! The very fabric we and everything is made of is Poetry! The world and stars and planets orbit on a Song! How and why did it take me thirty-three tag-araws and tag-ulans of life to figure this out? The uni-verse is thriving poetry! Even Genesis 1 is told in poetry. Most ancient Creation mythologies are told in poetry! Our very DNA is a poetic dance of genes: A, C, T, G!"

God said, "Let Us make mankind in Our image, after Our likeness..."

I-Mage is the title I chose for this online magazine, and is partly inspired by that passage above. We are images of God. This personal God. How could we bear to hate others?

There are people in this life I hate. The facetious colleague who spread lies. The money-hungry landlady we once we lived with. The egoistic boss who yelled at me in front of everyone. I used to imagine, each time I flush the toilet, that I am flushing their negative energies down with my poop, too. It's hard for me to see God in this people.

But the truth is, God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them (Gen. 1:27). I have no excuse for my hatred. But I can ask God to change my attitude.

From the Lion, I realized that the first three days set the pattern of God separating, or making space, like a framework, and then, filling up that space with creation. Wonderful, isn't it? There's also that mandate to eat plants and fruit, which are good for us.

I also am reminded of the importance of taking one day rest out of the week, and I can be, like God, as creative as I can for six. Good! God intended man and woman to be like Him, to be like God, to be like Father, Son, Holy Spirit. This is why God made us: to be His image-bearers.

Creator-God, who are you? I want to know you. Let me know you. What image of you did you assign me to bear and reflect?

Genesis

So, I am reading the Lion Handbook to the Bible and using it as a guide to my Bible reading. I am sure it will take me two to three years to complete the Bible if I follow its sections, but I don't mind. I really wanted to read the Bible in a more in-depth way.

On the introduction to the book to Genesis, this statement jumps out at me: "What is clear is that these stories express the deepest convictions of God's people that this world is the work of the one Creator-God, who is utterly good and who loves and cares for his creation."

I think that statement is powerful. In moments of difficulty, and there are lots throughout our days in this age, it is easy to slip into doubt. Does God care? Does God give a damn? Should I consider God's opinion when I make decisions? Think about it. You want to be a good employee, so you wake up early and leave early. But then you are met with horrible traffic jam or incorrigible EDSA drivers. Does God care?

At work you are met with office intrigue and unhelpful bosses. Does God care?

You come home tired, wanting to relax, maybe write a little, exercise. But there are dishes to be done, bills to be paid, and an unhappy wife who has had a rough day, too. Does God care?

If I could get that one statement engraved into my heart: The Creator-God is utterly good and loves and cares for his creation, there will be a change in how I perceive difficulty and others.

God, I pray that as I read the Bible, that I arrive at the same unshakeable conviction: that you are utterly good, and that you love and care for me. Amen.

The Lion Handbook to the Bible

When I was in second grade my dad flew to Saudi Arabia to become one of the first OFWs (overseas Filipino workers). Back then they were called OCWs, or, overseas contract workers. The day he flew changed my life forever, as my mom had their marriage annulled and married another man.

At that time my sister and I were sent off to live with my grandparents. My grandfather loved to drink, and my grandmother loved to nag. The only thing they had in common was their love for reading. My grandfather had his monthly subscription of Reader's Digest and daily tabloids; my grandmother read her Bible and many religious books.

They lived a walk away from OMF Literature in Boni, Mandaluyong. This was before the underpass to Robinsons was built. My Lola would take me to OMF and I loved that little bookstore, which has, by God's grace over the years grown. I never bought any books for my own then, I didn't have my own money! But my grandmother never left that store without a new book to meditate upon.

On one of our visits I came across a flyer of bestsellers. On it was advertised Psalty's Bible. Psalty was this mascot on a TV show that never aired in the Philippines, but the idea of a Bible suited for kids appealed to me. Back then all I read was the King James given to me by my Bible Baptist mother, and the Good News Bible, given to me by my grandmother who attended the charismatic and progressive Jesus Is Lord Church.

One other book that appealed to me was the Lion Handbook to the Bible. It was supposed to be the best guide to reading the Bible. Almost every night I read my Good News Bible, and then cry to Jesus to give me Psalty's Bible and the Lion Handbook.

I am thirty-three years old now. And Jesus answered one of my prayers. I now own the Lion Handbook to the Bible, which I happened upon when I passed Philippine Bible Society along U.N. Avenue. It was on a discount and so I picked it up immediately.

I have finished reading the Bible before, and what helped me was the Cover2Cover Chronological Bible Guide written by Selwyn Hughes. Since then, I have been looking for a more in-depth guide to reading the Bible. I am now less interested in reading every single word in the Holy Book in 365 days, and more about going in-depth, in deepening my understanding and appreciation of God's Word, and by God's grace, translating it into practical application and obedience in my Christian life. I was looking for such a guide this 2015.

I hope the Lion Handbook is, again, God's timely answer to that prayer. It is filled with photos, references, and book-by-book outlines and essays. I plan to use it as a companion to my walk.

God, please bless me in this. I ask you bless my renewed commitment to read the Bible. May you change me from the inside out. Make me a better Christian. In Jesus' name, amen.

I AM WHO I AM

Exodus 3:12-15 

God said, "I will surely be with you; and this shall be the sign to you that I have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain." 

And Moses said to God, "Behold: when I come to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you, and they say to me, "What is His name?"' What shall I say to them?" 

And God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM and WHAT I AM, and I WILL BE WHAT I WILL BE"; and He said, "You shall say this to the Israelites, 'I AM has sent me to you!'" God said also to Moses, "This shall you say to the Israelites, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers, of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Jacob, has sent me to you!' This is My name forever, and by this name I am to be remembered to all generations."

From Daily Walk Devotional (www.walkthru.org):
I AM WHO I AM, or I WILL BE WHAT I WILL BE (3:14), the name by which God revealed himself, is the name by which he would be known and worshiped. It reveals his unchanging nature, his eternal attributes, and his total faithfulness toward his people. Jesus, in his revelation from heaven to the apostle John, alludes to this holy name when he refers to himself as “the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come—the Almighty One” (Revelation 1:8).

From Hebrew for Christians:
It's a wonder that some people are eager to know the phonetics of God's name far more than its meaning... They confuse the “signifier” with the “Signified.”

The meaning of the Name YHVH (יהוה) is Life, Being, Presence, Love, "I am that I am," ehyeh asher ehyeh - the complete conscious self-identity and awareness that is at the heart of all that exists.

When God said to Moses: אֶהְיֶה אֲשֶׁר אֶהְיֶה, "I AM who I AM," he was not being obscurantist but rather completely straightforward: His essence and identity are One.

The Talmud lists 70 names of God based on his role relative to the creation: He is Creator, King, Father, LORD of hosts, Judge, Savior, and so on. God perfectly knows who he is and therefore is entirely free to assume different roles without compromising his unique and sacred inner essence. God reveals various titles and attributes that we can (analogically) comprehend, but the inner life of God is and forever shall be an infinite sacred mystery... Knowing God's name isn't about being able to pronounce a special proper noun, after all, but is about accepting Ultimate Reality: Hayah hoveh yihyeh (היה הוה יהיה), "He was, He is, He will be" ... your loving heavenly Father.

But still, what is the "best" Hebrew Name of God? Some of the Jewish sages have said that it is revealed by reciting all 304,805 letters of the Torah in a series. That is, string together all 304,805 letters of the Torah - from the first letter of Bereshit (Bet) through the last letter of Devarim (Lamed) - and "read" this as a single "Word." Of course, we should also add the letters for the Prophets (neviim) and the Writings (ketuvim) to the Torah's 304,805 letters, not to mention the 138,020 words of the Greek New Testament. When we do so, we have the 3,000,000 letter name of God!

Taking a different approach, we learn from the teachings of Yeshua the Mashiach that the Name of God is best understood as "Father." In fact, Yeshua used the common Aramaic word for "father" (abba) to refer to His relationship with God, and He wanted his talmidim (disciples) to do likewise. It is well and good to understand the meaning of the hundreds of Names and Titles of God as revealed in the Scriptures, of course, but in the end we need to trust in Him as a small child trusts in the love of his father....

And now, some thoughts from yours truly
I am glad you stumbled upon my blog! I am Rico. I love to read, to write, and to act on the stage. I have never finished college, and have never finished studying. I mean that quite literally! Because I didn't get a degree, I took it upon myself to continue my education through my adult years. How do I do that?

Books, of course! I read a lot of books. I love fiction, of course. I started a blog for my my reading fiction, and if you want to take a look, it's at http://riceyears.blogspot.com.

Right now, I am a "student" of Patsy Rodenburg, Julia Cameron, Natalie Goldberg, Harold Sala, James Bryan Smith, among others, by way of the books they wrote. I am learning and learning, and I love doing so.

I then thought, why don't I start a blog about my own self-education. The beauty about this is that I don't study for grades or a degree. I study for the sheer love of learning! And I get to choose the courses I take. And pretty much, the tuition is the cost of a book at the bookstore!

So the posts in this blog will be random. Just #notestomyself as I read my teachers, and I hope you benefit from them. I also hope you journey with me by posting in the comments section.